2023 was precisely divided between two parts. Both were as experiential as the other. Gap year till August and freshman fall following it. The semester was learning through a lot of different kinds of emotions and growth through those. It was a spectrum of first-timer experiences. Alongside was a lot of heads-down work and will to triumph.
September was the month of adjustment. October was the month of realization. November was the month of happenings. December was the month of feels. Following are some notable activities in mostly chronological order.
First-timers: participated in a song fest and danced in front of the entirety of the 2027 batch; went to my first actual party; saw an in-person basketball game in an arena (ATL Hawks vs. WA Wizards); experienced escape room in an actual forest; tried Garba, a Gujarati dance form; went to my first Thanksgiving dinner at my mentoring professor’s place.
Physical: started learning Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (MMA); realized my capabilities of making it to the antipode of campus for an 8.30 am within 7 minutes; got my first liver shot through a switch kick (sole left my body then); discovered I can do a pistol squat; had my first win by submission in BJJ (through rear neck hold); found I can pull of a L-sit.
Academic, Work: delved into molecular biology after being detached from the whole of biology for over three years; experienced old mind-expanding feelings from the math olympiad days after problem-solving physics; noticed how I transitioned from studying inside a room all day by myself to different, open places in study groups; peaked in micromanagement; realized the importance of office hours (the conversations following doubts); took the Putnam, a math competition that friends and I dreamt of taking back in India; found returning from the library at 4 in the morning are pure vibes; took two math finals (one Honors) in a day with four and half hours of sleep and got A’s in both.
It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow. There were lone times (I love alone time, but it was one of the few and first times I actually felt lonely), unchangeable setbacks, and uneasy feelings that I found hard to comprehend or articulate.
Emotional, Psychological, Realizations: had panic attacks that the first bar of greatness in the 20s is approaching, with the latter being in the 40s; felt the age gap after taking a gap year; realized the culture of giving compliments is much more common here; misinterpretations happen at times and that one should let it go; gestures and conversation tones vary vastly from culture to culture; there are always hidden things you won’t know; random but experienced too many Deja Vu’s; sometimes I got conscious about things that I didn’t even bother about; sometimes found not caring much is the way to go; sometimes questioned where I truly belong at all; realized one has to strike a really fine balance between speaking/expressing enough and not speaking/expressing enough.
Memorable: lived one of my manifestations of traveling between states in the States as I went for a retreat in Alabama with the Indian club and marked it by jumping off a cliff there; asked someone out, got asked out; had the best birthday celebration with a traumatizing Saw X movie ending; went for my first hike in Atlanta and had one of the most beautiful conversations with three friends there; performed in front of an 800-people crowd (danced and presented); found sleepover with the boys is a whole different experience from splitting philosophy at 2 in the night to waking up with a shoe right in front of the nose; had the worst sleep cycle in the week leading to Thanksgiving, from sleeping at 5 am to waking at 11 am, but each night got its story; that impromptu things aren’t bad – went to board the flight back home, got offered compensation to fly a day later due to overbooking, went back and chilled with friends in the dorm, got both money and back home the next day.
There are surely moments I missed to recall or don’t wish to dissect, those numerous waves of laughter and banters and yapping town sessions, the crazy packed Mondays from 8:30 am to 4 pm with 4 consecutive classes, a Putnam practice session, and one office hour, and the numerous late night food hunts (to this place on campus called Woodies), but those things each day were indeed what made this course of time truly cherishable for me.
Key takeaways, Highlights: college clubs and their people are some of the cutest things, who made my transition as an international one of the smoothest journeys; Turkey paninis top everything; if not checked, early morning warm showers can get time-suckingly long; Twitter leads to more meaningful connections than LinkedIn; found myself naturally practicing gratitude; continued climbing trees; continued journaling.
And to conclude, one of the most important things is friends, companions, and acquaintances. They are crucial. They help continually and in immeasurable ways. Though it’s said there is no need for reciprocation in true bonds, one should reciprocate care and love. People will weird out and so will you. But it’s not always on the other person or you. It just happens. Time needs to be taken to figure out really who is what (without actively differentiating) – who you belong to and who all belong to you. In the end, almost everything is about figuring out, which I’m trying to do as well. Wishing you all a very happy and healthy new year!
PS: Here are a few tweets I found the most relatable over these months. (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6).
Wow :D